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lost words
May 18th, 2012There are words that haunt the dark spaces to which i just cannot suffer to say.
i would instead choke down the jagged edges of the rounded letters and suppress the verbal font.
What of ‘goodbye’ and the way the final sound of the final ‘e’ always comes with a breath out, a lingering and softly defeated breath as if it had fingers.. and those fingers had nails and they were scratching and clinging to the floor boards of that two syllable word?
Fighting, always fighting to stick around, if only for You, if only forever.
But i cannot. i won’t.
What of ‘Cant’ and the way ‘Can’t’ becomes a window covered with bars and those bars forever change the way light spills into spaces behind them?
Can’t is a door covered in locks and I’ve always had a problem with losing my keys.
Keys. Phone. Wallet.
Wishes.
You.
Lost.
Confused. Bewildered.
Can’t is the new “Won’t” said with decoration and the illusion of being utterly powerless.
What of regret and the way it stains our memories with wishes that will never come true? What of ‘would have’ or ‘could have’ or the most heart breaking and poltergeist haunting ‘should have’?
When will Now start being better than ‘then’ and when we will leap first and ask questions second and when will we understand that sometimes, sometimes, the entire universe conspires to put us exactly where we need to be at the exact moment we need to be there and if we would stop fighting it so hard and start reaching out instead of pushing away, pulling in instead of fighting off, we would discover that all we’ll need is waiting, patiently, directly in front of us.
What of all these words i will not say?
What of all these words i cannot suffer a moment longer on this tongue of mine?
i will wait until they are lost.
I’ve always had a problem with losing my keys.
Keys. Phone. Wallet.
Wishes.
You.
Lost.
Confused. Bewildered.
May 15th, 2012
Good Catch
May 9th, 2012
fishes: kinkerbelle, Namatel, Texassara, Stray_Kitten, Libra_Rayne
Sailors: SirTemple, Handrolld, Shepherd817, TwistedLens
sparky
May 7th, 2012
my high
May 1st, 2012
Suspended Fire
April 29th, 2012Rope/Suspension: SirTemple & Shepherd817
Video by: TwistedLens
Models: kinkerbelle, namatel & stray_kitten
Above, the beginning – Below, the finale!
partial petals
April 27th, 2012
photo by SirTemple
upright position
April 26th, 2012
recovering
April 25th, 2012
power exhange
April 21st, 2012
Just getting my kicks..
Rope/Suspension: Shepherd817 and SirTemple, Photo: SirTemple
Happy 420
April 20th, 2012
low hanging fruit
April 18th, 2012Just home from an awesome week of Vacation in the Virgin Islands.
I found the best tree to pose with to show You what a great time I was having 
How is “Your” wood, by the way?
candy?
April 18th, 2012
..like a pez dispenser even.
sunset suspension
April 10th, 2012
Event: Element Spring Bound 2012
Rope/Suspension: Shepherd817 & SirTemple
Photo: TwistedLens
rope kissed
April 8th, 2012Rope marks left behind from a gravity boot suspension demo done in Austin at the Element – Spring Bound 2012
A wonderful time!
